The old church hall was the perfect setting for the five days of discovery that were about to unfold before me.

I have precisely three positive memories of drawing as a child.  One is of a house.  I was at Sarnia school in Durban so must have been about 6.  My memory is not of drawing the house but of being proud of the drawing and then having to submit it and not seeing it again until the end of the year.  Both the injustice of surrender and then the disappointment on getting it back, and realising it was not as good as I had remembered it to be stay with me.  My second memory is of enjoying technical drawing classes at Mpelembe School.  What a strange subject to be studying at 12!  Nevertheless I liked the sense of order.  The sharp pencils, completing the letter in the table at the bottom of the page, the precision all gave me great satisfaction.  The final memory is of drawing comics in my bedroom in Surrey.  I got a book out of the library that was a step-by-step guide for children and it seemed to work.  My cartoons were recognisable and fun.  But that’s just three positive memories. As for the rest of my childhood drawing wasn’t even on the horizon.  I read a lot and was often outside running around.  Variously I wanted to be a farmer (until someone told me I couldn’t be a farmer but only a farmer’s wife), a park ranger, a teacher and a policewoman.

And then at 38 here I was sitting in a church hall uncertain and anxious but ready to give it a shot. 

It was a combination of thinking and circumstance that brought me there.  At the start of 2009 I talked with Grant about this being the year of experience.  So often I’ve been caught up in whether I’m doing well enough, is it time to buy a new car or a new appliance yet?, could we pay off the mortgage faster.  And some of these are useful thoughts.  But I wanted to put something else in there.  What would happen if I focused my time and money not on the accumulation of things but on the exploration of experiences?  I knew Grant would want to do drawing with me.  He is such a creative person so this seemed like a good fit.

The lessons were perfectly structured.  The attractive tutor had a softness and air of gentleness about her that reassured me that I would not be laughed at or feel like a failure. 

What was remarkable was the way in which something magic – the ability to easily draw hands, faces or landscapes could be reduced to a series of simple techniques.  That is, they were simple to understand and, when applied, generated reasonable, approximate results.  So the next step to becoming good at drawing is to overlay experience onto the techniques.  I understand now some of the use of light and tone, some of the use of measurement, perspective and relationships.

The first step was to draw a self portrait.  This was to be our before shot.  After the embarrassment of a poor showing here my confidence started to be rebuilt as we copied a picture of Stravinsky by Picasso.  Sophie explained how the conscious mind gets in the way of good drawing because it focuses on attention on what it expects to see, what it thinks a hand looks like for example, and not what is really being seen.  So, we tricked our minds with the Stravinsky copy by turning the picture upside down.  Now instead of a man sitting on a chair, complicated folds in his clothes and interlocking fingers we had a puzzle of lines, measurements and shapes.

As I concentrated I was completely absorbed.  There was no mental chatter and I was amazed at the conclusion that I’d been drawing for about 2 and ½ hours.  And when I turned my rendition the right way up it actually looked like the Stravinsky – although the head was a little bit off.

This pattern was to continue the next day as, using different techniques, I drew a hand.  It was incredibly calming.  I was completely absorbed and unable to multi-task at all.  There was no stopping for 5 minutes to do an email or to make a phone call.  I had to be there, in the moment, or the drawing simply would not work.  Another lesson was the need to have faith.  Using these techniques it was not clear that something recognisable would actually emerge from the process.  The exercise where we drew chairs, by drawing the spaces between the parts of the chair was a case in point.  Here it seemed as if a chair would never emerge from the geometric shapes that I was constructing on my paper.  In fact, I really struggled to see my chair even though I could see the chairs in the drawings of those around me but as I persevered and Sophie pointed out some of the line to me, suddenly my chair burst on to the paper.  Then as I added some contrasts and drew in some of the features I got satisfaction from making my chair real.

I found myself completing a drawing and wanting to start again as the realisations of the lessons seeped in by doing.

Interestingly, my most successful days were the first three days.  I think my brain was tiring (this was the most extensive workout I can remember it having in years) by days four and five and foolishly the work demands from home had well and truly started to have an impact. 

Having said that, the lessons towards the end of the week are there in my brain and are shaping how I look at things.  I found myself sitting on the train and just looking at peoples’ faces.  I can see so much more now than I ever used to.  The different lines and lengths, the subtleties of light that show the muscle and bone structures that sit beneath the skin, and the way in which space works to define objects.    Most importantly, I’ve been reminded of the power of focus, and how rejuvenating it is to absorb oneself completely in something, creating a state where the inner voice gets no airtime at all.

 I know what comes next.  Next is practice but doing it for the pleasure of solving the puzzle not as a task to be completed.  Because practicing will make me better able to see the shapes and to get the measurements and relationships right.

As I type this, I’m sitting outside and looking up I can frame a view of an interesting looking tree.  Not fully grown yet it stops before the top of my vision with the young branches forming beautiful shapes.  I think this will be my next project.

[I did my drawing class with Sophie of Drawing Potential in Melbourne]